If you’re planning on moving an elderly parent into your home, the last thing you want to do is talk to them about money. It’s easy to remember those years when they provided for you; bought elaborate gifts for your children, or helped you pay your way through college. But, when living with a senior, money becomes a whole different matter and money talks are essential. Before moving your parent into your home, have the money conversation, and make sure that guidelines are set so there is no tension or resentment later on the line because money was never talked about before you changed your living arrangements. It’s not an easy conversation to have, it never is when money’s on the docket – but with these guidelines, you’ll make sure everyone’s on the same page!

1. Bridge the topic gently – ensure that finances are discussed before the move happens, but don’t approach it like finances might change your motivations or your ability to care for your loved one

2. Set the standards – discuss what percentage of the household bills your senior will be responsible for. It might not be fair to ask an elderly parent to pay half of the mortgage and utility bills if there are 4 people in your immediate family, and they are just one; but you can ask them to pay one-fifth, or another number that is agreeable to everyone

3. Keep separate bank accounts, but create a common fund – don’t expect that a senior living with you is going to merge their bank account; having their own finances maintains their sense of independence and purpose. However, you can create a joint fund that all contributors can add to in order to make monthly bill payments easier

Via: Guide for Seniors and Boomers Who Live With Them

Image: cas.uchicago.edu

Home Care Central Phoenix and Home Care Greater Phoenix provides elder care and senior care in Phoenix. Call us today at 623-583-5868, 602-265-8228 or 480-991-3959.

Home Care Central Phoenix and Home Care Greater Phoenix provides elder care and senior care in Phoenix. Call us today at 623-583-5868, 602-265-8228 or 480-991-3959.

Heart of a CAREGiver
Heartofacaregiver.com was developed by Home Instead Senior Care to raise industry awareness of the growing need for CAREGivers across the healthcare industry.  A majority of families will experience a CAREGiving opportunity at least once with aging parents or spouses and children with disabilities.  A crisis in health or accident will leave even the most cohesive family at a sudden loss as the dynamic and roles change.  Respite care is a valuable and underutilized service available in nearly every community.  After families go through crisis, often years after a loved one has passed, family caregivers often reminisce about their experiences with a new perspective and desire to give back to others in their communities. 

Take a moment and watch this video about the joys that CAREGiving can bring to your life.

How can an adult child prepare themselves before walking into mom’s home this holiday? by Dr. Jake Harwood, Department of Communications at the University or Arizona.

Dr. Harwood - If you are concerned about encountering unexpected and dreaded surprises this holiday seasion when visiting aging relative, seeing things that seem amiss, and particularly with noticing areas where you feel that your mom or relative is at risk - here are some things to better prepare you.

Home Care Central Phoenix and Home Care Greater Phoenix provides elder care help in Phoenix. Call us today at 623-583-5868, 602-265-8228 or 480-991-3959.

The first key here would be to be prepared.  If you haven’t visited in a while, it’s certainly possible that things may have changed.

The second is to keep an open mind; some changes may be good – perhaps you find assistive devices like hand rails – those might indicate something that causes you distress, but they’re good because they indicate that your parent is aware of age-related changes and is taking the right steps to deal with them. 

The third key is not to overreact. If you find that the house is cold, for instance, you can certainly turn the heat up. But berating your mom for not taking care of herself isn’t the first thing you want to do on walking into the house. You’ll have time to figure out what’s going on and so rushing to figure out everything in the first five minutes is unlikely to be productive.

Taking a little time to figure out what’s going on will allow you to assess the whole situation – can you see physical changes in your mom, psychological changes, does she have new friends or neighbors, has she lost a friend who she was close to, is she on any new medication, etc.? Any one of those things might explain what’s going on, but you won’t find out if the focus is on telling her that something is wrong.

The fourth key here (and in all good communication) is perspective taking. Imagine someone coming into your house and telling you that things are amiss. How would you like them to tell you? What would you not like?  By putting yourself in your mom’s shoes you can figure out the best way to address the situation.

Finally, throughout the communication, avoid stereotyping. There’s a tendency to look at everything involving aging parents as being because of age. Obviously that’s not the case – we all lead complex lives with lots of stuff going on in them. Changes in your mom might be due to all sorts of things in her life that have nothing to do with her age. When parents get older, it’s important to remember that they are still individuals and when we judge their actions and behaviors only in terms of age we are doing our parents, and our relationships with them, a disservice.

Home Care Central Phoenix and Home Care Greater Phoenix provides elder care and senior care in Phoenix. Call us today at 623-583-5868, 602-265-8228 or 480-991-3959.

When a family member has to take control over making care decisions on behalf of an aging parent or elderly relative, there can be resentment and ambivalence when the senior isn’t involved in the process, because they may feel like they’re being treated like a child. While a senior may be unable to single-handedly manage their own care arrangements, the family member responsible can ensure that the senior gets to make some choices of their own.

Seniors may find the process of touring multiple community care facilities, and interviewing many professional caregiving agencies overwhelming and tiring. Family members can do the legwork for them, after talking to the older adult about their specific wants and needs. They may have valuable input regarding the tasks they need assistance with and who they might be able to relate to, so it’s important that this is acknowledged during the process.

The family should narrow down prospective care options once they have completed the research and review required, and then present them to the senior. By only suggesting the senior care businesses that have already been deemed appropriate, the senior can make the final decision, which helps them feel like they’re taking control over their own life decisions.

Source: http://assisted-living.aplaceformom.com/articles/eldercare-decision-and-guilt/

Home Care Central Phoenix and Home Care Greater Phoenix provides elder care and senior care in Phoenix. Call us today at 623-583-5868, 602-265-8228 or 480-991-3959.

Let us help you keep mom and dad at home!

Holiday visits are a good time to make sure your older parents and relaives are managing their lives and affairs. The winter is upon us, so it’s a good time that their home is well prepared for the cold winter months. I remember visiting my dad one holiday, walking into the house.. it was cold.. I was quite shocked. “Dad, why is it so cold in here?” HIs reply was equally shocking.. “I can’t get the heater on”. Immediately, we called the local plumber. In an hour we figured out that the pilot light was not on. So, thankfully, we were able to remedy that situation. This is a good time for you to start a healthy conversation about if they are able to cope with getting older.

Check in on Aging Relatives:

• Pay attention to whether the older person has a change in a health condition
• Has their memory changed?
• Do they understand your questioning, and are they able to follow your converstation?
• What about their living condition? Is their house clean and in order?
• Check on their finances. Are they paying bills? Is their check book in order? 
• Ask him/her if they are having trouble with household chores?
• Ask if they are able to manage their medications?
• Check in with their neighbors and nearby relatives. Ask them if they would keep an eye out for your mom or dad.
• Make an emergency list for your aging parents - people they can call for possible safety hazards and home maintenance. 

The holiday time is a great opportunity for adult children and family to pay attention to an older adult’s physical, mental, environmental and financial situation. Keep in mind while doing this that it is equally important to them that you respect their need for privacy. Remember most seniors want to remain independent.

Home Instead Senior Care provides seniors and your aging parents the services and companion care needed for them to remain at home safely. Consider our CAREGivers when your parents need extra care.. when you cannot be there.